《柯南脱口秀》第24期:安全是第一要务

kntkx 柯南脱口秀 173 0

Thank you.Thank you very much.I live in new york.I got gresh haircut.New york. 谢谢非常感谢我住在纽约刚剪了个头发纽约

Fresh haircut before the show,before I left. 上节目前剪了个头发我离开之前

I said to the barber,somewhere between a new wedding D.J and department of homeland security. 我跟理发师说介于新泽西州婚礼DJ 和国土安全部官员的发型

I'll be honest with you.He nailed it.He did a great job. 我说实话他搞定了他做得很好

So I want you to be entertained but I want you to feel safe. 我想让你们开心也想让你们安全

Safety is my up here. 安全是我的第一要务

As a volunteer firefighter,I see a lot of things that are unsafe in society. 作为一个志愿消防队员我在社会上看到了很多不安全的事

I see this father walking around with a baby in attached to the front of his body, 我看着一位父亲走来走去他的身前挂着一个育儿袋

which is so cocky.which says,look,I get women pregnant,I make them have the baby,then I wear the women as . 这太炫耀了意思是瞧我让女人怀孕了我让她生下孩子我把孩子当首饰一样戴

I say sir,please remove the baby.That's not safe.I'm a volunteer firefighter. 我说先生请放下孩子这不安全我是志愿消防队员

You know,he said to me,I'm an actual firefighter.why don't you get out of my face? 他对我说我是个真正的消防队员你别烦我了行吗

I said maybe you don't hear what I said,bro.volunteer firefighter. 我说也许你没听到我说的话哥们志愿消防队员

That means I could do your entire job in my spare time.Thank you. 那就是说我业余时间里能做你的所有工作谢谢

Then I stopped,dropped and rolled my way out of the conversation. 然后我停了下来不再跟他继续交谈

Proving that I'm a volunteer firefighter. 证明我是个志愿消防队员

I fly a lot.I don't mind if it's first class on the plane. 我经常坐飞机我不介意坐的是不是头等舱

I don't want to have to walk through it to get to my seat.I sit in zone three. 我不想走过头等舱才能到达我的位置因为我坐在第三区

And when I walk through first class,I see a lot of things that make me angry. 我走过头等舱时我看到了很多让我愤怒的事情

They have a lot of extra leg room.eating a five course meal. 他们的腿部空间大得多吃着五道菜的正餐

Drinking mimosas.I'm not on the plane yet.That's disrespect. 喝着含羞草酒我还没上飞机呢这很不尊重

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