艾伦脱口秀395:传得天花乱坠

I really didn't want this to be a big news story,that's the whole reason I didn't go to hospital

我不想这事变成新闻 着就是我当时为什么没去医院

The paramedics wanted me to go to hospital to get fully checked out and I didn't wanna go because

急救人员让我们去医院做全面检查 我不想去 因为

No 1,I have a show to do,the show must go on.I learnt that from Ethel Merman earlier in my career

一是 我有个脱口秀要做 节目必须得办下去 这是我最早打拼时从Ethel Merman身上学到的

Well I talk about Ethel Merman for singing.No 2,I didn't want it to leak to the press,so that worked out

其实我提到Ethel Merman只是为了唱歌 二嘛 我不想让媒体知道 看样子这个目的达到了

It's amazing how the story spread like,I mean what happened was I was having chest pains

事情传得那是漫山遍野 天花乱坠 当时我只是胸口疼

I called the paramedics to come to my office,they checked me out and left.5 minutes later,TMZ found out about it

然后叫了急救队 他们来我办公室检查了一下就走了 5分钟后 有爱的TMZ发现了

And then it was everywhere.It was like the game of telephone,because the story is just escalating

接下来所有人就都知道了 这就好像是玩传话游戏一样 事情就这么传开了

One report said,I was actually rushed to the hospital in an ambulance with the unsettled heart attack

有一条新闻说 我突发心脏病 被急救车送到医院去了

By the time I got home,Mama was going for my jewelry

我回到家的时候 我妈正准备拿我的珠宝

Portia said the phone was ringing all day long,People from Australia were calling

Portia说电话响了一整天 连澳洲都有人打过来

When it got to Australia the story was a dingo ate my baby.It had gone that far

但是故事到澳洲就成了一只野狗吃了我的宝宝 传得够离谱的

But once again,I wanna say I feel fine.Thank you for your twitters and your emails

我想再说一次 我很好 谢谢你们的微博和邮件

and thank you to the paramdics,thank you to all my co-workers here who offered mouth to mouth,thank you so much

感谢急救队 感谢要给我人工呼吸的同事们 太感谢你们了

I'm gonna checking with TMZ today to see if I'm gonna pull through.All I know right now is I'm healthy enought to dance

我回头得去看下TMZ 不知道我挺过去没有 我只知道我现在健康得能跳舞

英语脱口秀